Hello again fans
Two posts in two weeks? I really must slow down! I’m not sure how many earth years I’ve been on your planet but one thing I’ve learned is that the more I get to know you humans the less I understand.
You’re all totally obsessed by the most irrelevant things!
Take my girlfriend miss X for instance. We had a row last night but more about that later.
We were having a lovely, romantic meal in a very swish restaurant. I know she loves wine by the way she glugs it down so, seeing she’d emptied her glass …. again I picked up the bottle and asked her if she’d like some more.
She wasn’t even listening to me and she startled me by suddenely asking if the Pope was Catholic!
“What you asking me for?” I snapped “I’m not even from your planet!”
I’ve heard people asking this before, for Goodness sake humans you have GOOGLE! Isn’t it about time one of you Googled this Pope bloke and found out for once and for all if he’s Catholic?……Tch!
Then she started laughing and crying at the same time. I just sat there staring at her and thinking what a strange being she is.
Last week my neighbour was admiring my new Mercedes. (I had to buy a new one because the last one ran out of petrol) I really wouldn’t mind but I’d only had it for a week! You really are a throw away society aren’t you, TCH!
She seemed very interested in the car so I asked her if she’d like to come for a ride. She clearly had other things on her mind because she asked me if one legged ducks swim round in circles! “I have no idea.” I replied as I was driving away .” I’ve never seen a one legged duck.” I looked in my rear view mirror and she was staring after me with her mouth open as if she couldn’t believe I didn’t know the answer! Tch! Why do you humans expect me to have answers to all your questions just because I come from another planet?
Well, I gave her my old Mercedes, she was delighted <snigger> I hope I’m not around to witness her reaction when she realises it has run out of petrol! <hee hee>
Anyway I’m thinking about dumping miss X, I’m beginning to realise that she’s most unreasonable! You know what she said to me last night? She said that she thinks I’m obsessed with my ex-girlfriend, AnMarie;
“Do you know you’ve mentioned her twenty seven times in the last hour” she said, “I’ve been counting.”
Ahem ….. and she thinks I’m obsessed! Tch! No wonder she doesn’t hear what I’m saying if she’s busy counting my words!
I mentioned to a friend of mine this morning how I thought humans were strange, he laughed and said;
“You hit the nail on the head there mate.”
Mmmmm just as if to reinforce what I was thinking ……I hadn’t even touched his hammer!
On another note, in case you haven’t seen my tweets Steve Luff is on Black Cat radio on Thursdays now from 9 – 11 pm so make sure you tune in:-)
I leave you with a song that sums up how I feel about humans!
Love Gongle x